Thinking of You
by renny-chan
Summary: ShizNat One was so distressed to the point of forgetting, while the other helps her remember and realizes where their friendship stands. Chapter 4 part 1 posted. Update: Rating changed to T Edit: Hiatus
1. Chapter 1

A/N : So yeah... It's not really a story, but I think it will be soon. Possible one-shot...but then again this feels unfinished. Tis my first time posting something so ummm...hooray? SOMEONE told me to hurry up and post something. So yeah. There will be more soon...I think. lol. Give me some feedback. I'm not confident on how it turned out. Thanks very much for reading.

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Mai Hime. doode, but if I did...lol. oh the possibilities.

* * *

What are we Shizuru?

Can I really forget what happened?

Our relationship,

These feelings,

This is not friendship.

What is it that I feel for you?

My heart aches when I think of you.

It frightens me.

Why is this so complicated?

Platonic love?

It's anything but that.

Mai and Mikoto are platonic,

Alyssa and Miyu are platonic,

Heck, even Yukino and Haruka are platonic.

So what are we Shizuru?

Through the span of less than four years,

You slowly melted my cold exterior

And re-awakened a part of me that

I thought drowned with my mother

In the depths of the sea.

------

Even on that fateful day,

When we were reborn in each other's arms,

I knew this fabrication had to end.

Whatever barriers we had built around us,

Whatever destruction we had caused,

Whatever happened to us in the past,

Had to be pushed aside, forgotten and forgiven.

I said I did not feel the same way as you,

However, as of now I'm not so sure.

------

I miss you everyday, Shizuru.

Upon hearing the crimes you've committed,

Your so-called Idolizers turned against you

And praised that loud-mouthed wench Haruka.

Hypocrites, the lot of them.

Yet you still upheld your stature,

Even when everyone chose to ignore you on the podium.

Ostracized, defeated, and forgotten,

It was then you left without a word.

You didn't even let me say Goodbye.

Where are you now Shizuru?

Am I still always on your mind?

------

It's been two years since you disappeared.

No one can say I didn't try to find you.

Baka Onna, you hide your tracks well.

------

This is my last year at Fuuka.

Mai and the others have been kind to me,

However, they still can't compare to you.

I pass by the garden where we first met.

My fingers trail across the petals of a flower.

I feel my lips curve up into a gentle smile.

Looking at the delicate flora I still remember.

But I wonder, Shizuru, do you?


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Ummm...yeah. So this felt rushed, but yay! I did it! one more...chapter? -cough- shorter than the last post, but I think its okay for now. Had to rewrite it 3 times...lol. I have to thank Diana for...threaten- I mean...nagging me online all day to hurry up and finish another chapter. Thanks everyone for reading and reviewing. Oh, right. I have plot here. Theres actual plot. So yeah, it'll build soon enough.

**Disclaimer**: So I dont own the Mai Hime anime...pfft...the animation sucked anyway. I also have to say that the Mai Hime Manga is blasphemy. Tate...is not attractive and Shizuru isn't even a hime in it! mmkay...sorry heres chapter 2.

* * *

_"Shizuru, you were the first one who came to me when I was unable to trust anyone."_

Ara, who are you? How do you know my name?

_"But I can't have the feelings that you wish I did."_

Were we close? Why can't I see your face?

_"Even then, I'm happy that you loved me."_

I...loved you? Wait, tell me your name.

_"I also love you Shizuru."_

--------

"Wait!"

My eyes fluttered open.

It was a dream; the same recurring dream I've had since returning to Kyoto.

My face was flushed and my body was drenched in sweat.

I touched my cheek and felt tears.

I was crying.

-------

Who are you?

Please, I need to know.

Why did you say that you loved me?

My heart throbbed painfully against my chest.

And why do I yearn for you,

When I don't even know who you are?

-------

Even when I tried, I failed to see your features.

For now, your voice is all that haunts me when I wake.

Mysterious beauty, even in a dream you captured my heart.

I clutched my chest and wiped my tear-streaked face.

Whoever you are,

If you still think of me,

I just want you to know,

I still love you.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N : I really really don't like the way this chapter turned out. Forgive me for being picky when I write. But after re-writing this for the 7th time, and because 808tenshi is about to _strangle me_, here is chapter 3!

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Mai Hime. Only Shizuru. -hears click and sees Duran- Ohh...umm..yeah, Natsuki own's Shizuru. Drop the gun...I was kidding, kidding! -runs-

* * *

So…Today was my graduation.

I was just like every other senior,

Nervous, excited, proud…and hopeful.

Everyone had a guest attending,

Well, except me.

I actually invited my father, if he deserves to be called that,

But the bastard refused.

I didn't expect him to be here anyway.

You know…I reserved a seat for you.

Just in case you decided to show up, of course.

I mean, it's not like I expected you to come.

Heh...I almost messed up receiving my diploma because I couldn't stop looking at your seat.

Because it was empty.

-------

I'm taking my last walk around the school.

I have no reason to come back here anyway.

-------

Mai visited Takumi in America last year, then suddenly decided to stay there.

Tate was so angry, he took up kendo again and started to date Shiho.

Yeah... times change...

But are they for the better?

Mikoto took it pretty hard.

I heard she's traveling somewhere with Reito.

Since the carnival was over,

I don't associate myself with the other Hime.

They have lives and problems of their own,

But it's not like I care.

-------

I'm thinking too much again.

And,

Before I realized it, I'm back here.

At the garden,

Where it all began.

Memories flash through my mind as I reach for a flower.

_"You shouldn't do that. Flowers should be loved. They bloom with all their might for their short lives."_

-------

Stupid woman.

You aren't here and still you manage to occupy my thoughts.

And somehow...my heart.

Theres a lump in my throat and I choke back a sob.

You Liar.

_I grab a fistful of flowers with my hand._

You didn't go to Fuuka University.

_I throw them on the ground._

You don't value our friendship.

_I crush the flowers underneath my feet._

You didn't...You didn't care at all.

_I fall on my knees and cry._

* * *

A/N 2: Dun dun dun! Where is Shizuru? Why did she leave in the first place? Will Natuki ever see her again? Heh. You have to wait for the next chapter of course. Umm...anyways, I read from all the past reviews (which I am very grateful to everyone who reviewed), that you all wanted me to continue it in a story. So yes, I will continue. Don't worry, I'll try to write longer chapters. I just have to get over the fact that I suck writing in 3rd person (the main reason why it took me so long to post). Thanks for reading. Please review! 

For the anon reviewers:

vanomiya- yes you guessed right. thx very much, your english is great.

shiznats- thx very much. i appreciate it.

HEX- omg youre amazing. you summed it up in 2 sentences. yes. shiznat is love.

mandy - thank you. I will continue.

nube12 - you'll find out in the next chapter. I'm going to try.


	4. Chapter 4 Part 1

A/N: My apologies for a late update. I'm letting everyone know that this isn't the whole chapter. I'm going to post it into 3 parts, since I have to answer questions about Shizuru that I previously stated in chapter 3. I have a question for everyone, should I start naming my chapters? Just a thought. Plus, this fic's rating will be changed permanently to 'T' until...no its going to 'T.' Oh, and thanks to 808tenshi for checking it over for me and telling me that google documents has a spellcheck. lol.

**Disclaimer**: I don't and probably will never own Mai Hime.

**Chapter 4 Part 1**

* * *

_"Excuse me Miss, but--"_

"Obaa-chan! Obaa-chan!"

_"Miss, please wait!!"_

"No! Obaa-chan is...Obaa-chan is..."

I was rushing through the hospital,

Pushing past workers and patients alike,

Looking left and right for her.

Obaa-chan, where are you?

_"Someone stop her! She's injuring the patients!"_

They were chasing me, but I didn't care.

I had to find my Obaa-chan.

She's the only one that matters right now.

And this is my last chance.

A brusque man in white managed to pull me into a tight bear-hug, while another tried to calm me down.

_"Miss, please...We're only trying to help--"_

"No! No! She needs me!"

Kicking and flailing,

I managed to writhe out of the burly man's grasp and dashed once again to search for my ailing grandmother.

Is it this room? No. Is it that room? No.

No. No. No!

She should be here! Why can't I find her?!

I can hear the pants of the men behind me.

Hurry! Hurry! Avoiding the elevator, I burst through the door that led to the staircase.

Halfway up the stairs, I was faced with another brawny looking man...holding a syringe in one hand.

I really hope that's not for me.

I turned around, trying to find another way, and realized I was trapped.

The other two had finally caught up and I became surrounded.

Before I knew it, I was thrown forcefully onto the ground, the back of my head slamming painfully against the steps.

The world was spinning and it was getting hard to focus on the men pinning me to the floor.

"Please...let me go," I told them.

"I need to tell her...before its too late."

No one listened.

Someone pulled my arm and I felt a sharp pain on the inside of my elbow.

The syringe!

What are they injecting in my arm?!

Trying to move only deepened the pain inflicted by the needle, so I did the next best thing.

I gave in.

Tears escaped my eyes and my insistent cries softened when my body started to relax.

"Obaa-chan..."

Drifting in and out of consciousness, I managed to catch the words of my pursuers.

_"This lady's gorgeous. Wish I could have a go on her."_

_"Heh. Hey man, what she doesn't know won't hurt her. Right?"_

Faintly, I heard the sound of a low chuckle.

Then the world became dark.

* * *

A/N 2: This is a bit cruel for my taste. I've heard that abuse happens quite frequently in hospitals. I'll try to finish part 2 and 3 by this week. Thx for reading and please review! 

P.S. don't hurt me.


End file.
